Short Story - Fly Away

This story is about heartbreak and betrayal.  Cheerful topic right?  But I think it is something we all experience in our lives at some point whether it's in a romantic relationship or a friendship or within the family.  So I felt compelled to write this story.  Christina Perri's song Butterfly is beautifully haunting.  The first time I listened to it I had chills because of how perfect the words and sound all fit together.  If you've read my previous posts you know that Christina Perri has had a big influence in my creative writing.  Her music takes me to another place where I can really delve into my imagination.  

There isn't a music video for this song but I've attached the audio below.  Enjoy the story!

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His smile.  It haunts my dreams like a relentless fire, burning through me every time I close my eyes.  Even in my waking moments I can’t fully escape the memories.  Why can’t I just forget him, forget all of it? 

Usually I’m okay.  Usually I can pretend he didn’t rip my heart in half.  But not always.

It’s been almost a year since we’ve spoken.  He left my life so easily it feels as if everything he told me was a lie.  Because there’s no other logical explanation to how he could walk away without a word, without a goodbye, and more than once.  

He promised me so many wonderful things, filled my mind with so many amazing thoughts about our future, and he felt so genuine with his warm smile and kind eyes.  He said we would be together, that he just had some things to sort out.  

I was naive then.

I can still remember the way his hand felt in mine, the touch of his lips against my cheek.  But it was all a lie.  He was a lie, for the entire time he was in my life.  I look back on those times with sadness.  Not because I’m sad he left, but because I wish I had been wise enough to see it then.  To see that he intended to break me in two.  If I had, I would have walked away long before he could have taken my heart. 

I was finally starting to feel good again.  To feel whole.  His timing is terribly perfect.

I re-read the message.

     Madeline,

     I hope this letter finds you well.  I’m writing to apologize for how I left things.  It was wrong for me        to walk out without giving you a reason.  I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.  

     Something bigger was waiting for me and I had to follow it. 

     How have you been?

    

     Daren

Unbelievable.  How cold-hearted can he be?  Why even bother to write?  It’s so short, too brief to even mean anything.  And he admits to leaving me for something better.  Like I wasn’t good enough for him.  What an ass!  To think I let him walk into my life and walk out with my heart.  He doesn’t deserve my heart, and never did.

He must be feeling desperate.  That’s the reason he came back the last time.  His life wasn’t going how he wanted it to and he used me as his crutch.  I see that now, but I didn’t the time before.  

I was only there for him to pick himself up again.  To make him feel better about himself and his work.  I supported him completely in everything he did.  When he doubted himself, I was there to remind him that he had more to offer.

The first time we were together it was only for a few months and he shared his writing with me.  He told me he wanted to publish it but was unsure if it was good enough.  I read every word with careful thought and gave him my honest feedback.  It was good writing.

I’d fallen fast for him, feeling connected to him through his writing and all the time we spent talking, becoming close.

Once he’d gotten what he wanted from me about his writing, and published his work, he was gone.  

I moved on but he never left my mind completely.  A year later he showed up unexpectedly and that was the beginning of our second relationship.  We were like the same person in two different bodies.  The passion between us was like nothing I’d felt before and we were always near each other. 

I would sit beside him reading a book while he typed away on his computer writing the next big novel.  He’d ask me to read something and I would.  I felt honored to be the first to read his work, because I truly loved it.  He was very gifted at storytelling. 

Slowly though, he drifted away, becoming too focused on his work and getting it published.  I became less and less important, fading into the shadows of his world, until the day he left.  He didn’t just leave, he disappeared.  Packed up everything and left while I was out.

Looking back I can see the pattern.  I can see how he used me and when he didn’t need me anymore, he left.  But that doesn’t change how I felt for him, how I sometimes still feel for him.  I fell in love with him and the pain he caused me when he left is no less real just because it was never real for him.  

This time I won’t fall for his game.  I know what he is trying to do by writing me this letter.  He’s trying to warm up to me again.  I can’t lie to myself, part of me wants to write back and welcome him in with open arms because I remember how great it felt to be with him.

Yes, his smile still breaks my heart when I dream about it.  Yes, I still miss him when I wake from those dreams.  But I won’t let myself be used again.  I won’t let him break me again.  I’m stronger this time even if the memory of him still hurts me.  I know that his memory can’t hurt me like he can.

I have to let go now.  I hit reply and respond to his message, knowing this is the las time I will ever speak to him.  

     You only know how to fly, so fly away butterfly.

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